Have you ever noticed how hard your child tries to build the tallest tower, win the board game, or draw the “perfect” picture? Underneath all that effort is something very important: your child is working hard to feel competent. In other words, to feel capable, skilled, and proud of themselves.

Why Competence Matters to Children

Children aren’t just playing around when they try to get better at something — they’re actually doing the work of growing up. Here’s why competence matters so much to them:

1. It’s Part of Growing Up
As children move through the elementary years, their brains and bodies are wired to try new things, take on challenges, and solve problems. This stage of life is all about learning what they’re capable of.

2. It Feels Really Good Inside
Think about how great it feels when you accomplish something tough — that rush of pride? Kids feel that too. When they succeed, their brains release feel-good chemicals that say, “Yes! I can do hard things!”

3. They Want to Make You Proud
Children naturally look to the important adults in their lives for feedback. When they sense your pride or encouragement, it reinforces the idea that their efforts matter.

4. It Helps Them Handle Big Feelings
When kids feel like they’re good at things, they’re more confident and better able to handle setbacks or frustration. Mastery gives them a sense of control and that’s incredibly important for children.

How Play Therapy Supports Competence and Self-Esteem

In my work as a play therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how much children need a safe place to explore, try, fail, and try again. That’s what play therapy offers.

Here’s how it helps:

1. Play is Their Language
Adults talk to work through emotions — but children play. In play therapy, kids use toys and creative materials to act out struggles, solve problems, and build skills. It’s serious emotional work in a form that feels fun and safe.

2. It’s a Judgment-Free Zone
In the playroom, there’s no pressure to “get it right.” Children are accepted exactly as they are, which makes it easier for them to take emotional risks and try hard things.

3. They Can Rewrite the Story
Many children come into therapy feeling like they’ve failed — at school, in friendships, or in their families. Play therapy gives them a chance to change the narrative. In the world of play, they can rescue the hero, build the bridge, or face the dragon — all while slowly building real-world confidence.

4. The Therapist is a Safe Base
Just like a parent gently encouraging a toddler to take their first steps, the therapist offers emotional support, encouragement, and reflection. That relationship helps the child believe: “I can do this — and I’m not alone.”

Ways Parents Can Help at Home

You don’t have to be a therapist to help your child build a strong sense of competence. Here are a few simple things you can do:

• Celebrate effort over results: “You worked really hard on that puzzle!” is more powerful than “You’re so smart.”

• Make room for mistakes: Let your child know that trying and failing is part of how we learn.

• Give them real-life responsibilities: Whether it’s helping cook dinner or watering plants, kids feel proud when they contribute.

• Be their biggest encourager: Your belief in them becomes the voice they carry inside.

Competence isn’t just about being good at something — it’s about feeling capable in the world. Through play therapy and your support at home, your child can discover the courage to try, the resilience to keep going, and the joy that comes from saying, “I did it!”

If you’re wondering if play therapy in Richmond, Texas is the right fit for your child, please reach out to us to schedule a free parent consultation at 832-521-8809.